President-Elect Gregory's Fictional Cabinet as named December of 2007

• Press Secretary Chuck Whelpley - to distract attention from my various misdeeds in office.
  
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• Secretary of State Christopher "Chip" Wall - he will spread goodwill --and VD -- across the globe as he has across Wisconsin, Finland, and parts of Bolivia.
  
• Secretary of Health & Human Services Patrick "Mojo" Modjeski - what better example of healthy lifestyles?
  
• Secretary of Defense Dennis Dalkhe - like America he hasn't won many fights lately, but he sure is intimidating.
  
• Secretary of Transportation Jim "Sweet Head of" Devine - 2 known DUI's and one avoided by fleeing from a traffic stop in Hancock. Need I say more?
  
• CIA Director Gary Stewart - because he's a sneaky little shit just like Needermyer
  
• Attorney General Keith "Fatty" Gering - because he's one tough cop
  
• Chief of Staff Andrew "Spunker" Avery - because he is one anal and organized MF
  
• Secretary of the Chezury Charlie "The Mayor McAsscheese" Nickel - now and always the money man. There will be absolutely no more bailouts with this tightwad!
  
• FCC Chairman James Bernard "Bubba" Kralovec - because we need to replace broadband with CB's
  
• Secretary of Homeland Security and National Drug Czar Jason "Sald Bowl" Salani - did I mention my plan to open our borders and legalize drugs?
  
• Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Mark "Congo the Mailman" Strube - because only America's Guest can solve America's housing crisis.
  
• Public Enemy Number One (replacing Osama Bin Laden) Mike "Stitch" Berutti - this guy is dead to me unless he shows up sometime this decade. I call for an all-out, worldwide manhunt. Wanted dead or alive.
  
• Secretary of Education "Principal Brady" Downey - some children should be left behind!
• Chair of the National Endowment for the Arts Kevin Brys - to preserve the forgotten legacy of Depeche Mode.