HAPPY "RIVALRY" FRIDAY, U of M DICKHEADS :

A Spartan’s Open Letter to Michigan After the Vandalization of the Magic Johnson Statue

Posted on Oct 15, 2015 by Asher Dorshimer

 

The University of Michigan decided to reveal their evil today during their vandalism in East Lansing. Instead of going to spray paint Sparty’s bronze abs, they went after one of MSU’s living legends, Magic Johnson. They sprayed painted all over that gorgeous son of a bitch, even his shoes. They even used their fancy academic prowess to spell “beat state” correctly and in all caps, which stuns us simpleminded Spartans. How can you diss Magic Johnson? Magic Johnson is so badass, he has a statue built of him while he is still alive. This is the guy who is beating HIV’s ass every time he gets up in the morning!

The infamous spike of 2014, how did that work for ya?

This incident proves that U of M can never be satisfied.

Despite having all of the Big Ten Network and ESPN riding their dick in every pointless pregame analysis and conversations that amount to jack shit, they’re never satisfied.

Ok, Schwartz and Harbaugh are both kind of dicks. But it was classless on Harbaugh's part.

Despite bringing in a coach that whines so hard on the sidelines that everyone gets drunk off of his presence, as well as showing his U of M background when he dickishly pushed Jim Schwartz of the Lions after beating them, reminding the world he is a prick, they’re never satisfied.

And even despite having the majority of their fans talk about how great “their” team is while in line at Walmart to buy a jumbo bag of cheese puffs to further sate their obese asses while they look ashamedly on their GED, they’re never satisfied.

Despite all that, they still think they’re hot shit.

If anything, this shows that U of M is nothing more than a bunch of muggle-ass bitches. They possess absolutely no Magic on their campus, and were desperate enough to come here and try to taint our Magic with their crusty yellow paint. The inevitable day when U of M erects a massive Tom Brady statue in the future, one that is holding a stone inflated ball in its hand, and a spot where you can sit and kiss his ass for being a Wolverine, this attack will be repaid in full.

And should U of M win—in some crazy bullshit universe by some crazy bullshit act of God-- you can bet that to U of M, the last five years suddenly didn’t happen, and that U of M was always as amazing as they were in the history books that Wolverines fans are so quick to quote.

"It's not over. It will never be over. It's just getting started."  Coach D, 2007.