Sunday, November 30, 2014

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR REIGNING MVD


Drew Carey!

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

ACTUAL GOOGLE REVIEWS OF THE ROADSTAR INN OF GREEN BAY 
 
 
 
THE OFFICIAL HQ OF NMU PACKER WEEKEND XXVI(-I)!

Scott Sauer
8 months ago-

The reviewers have it right, at least 3-4 years ago.  Dirty rooms, old, worn, roughing it stuff here.  At the time I stayed there, the manager, who was (is?) an overweight smoker was railing against anti-smoking laws and how they hurt business.  I also heard great conspiratorial stories of the DNR trucking wolves into areas, etc...  We stayed here because it was CHEAP, but you would think, next to Lambeau, that this would be a primo site.  Nope.  Price is indicative of a lack of change, or the inability to change, or fear of change, and I'm guessing, a who gives sh*t attitude.  You have been warned.

 
A Google User
A Google User
4 years ago-

Spiders in the shower. squeeky doors. old bed. old air/heat unit. bathroom tiles missing or broken. peeling wallpaper. The only thing good about this place is how close it is to lambeau. at 180-200 at night they should be able to afford to fix this place up a bit. Not horrible but be prepared to rough it a bit.
A Google User
A Google User
5 years ago-

First of all, we walked in and it reeked of cigarette and mold. The big guy working the front was rude. We FINALLY got into our 'room' a half hour later, and the room was horrible. Actually had traces of feces left on the toilet seat! DISGUSTING! We thought we didn't even get pillows. Lifted up the stinky comforter, and there were 3 pillows about 2" thick. Very worn down, and filthy (yellow w/ cigarette burns.) The AC was from the 60's. Looked to be melted. Their so called great breakfast in the morning was stale bagels and muffins. HORRIBLE. Not worth $50 a night. I know that's not much, but even the Motel 8 is better. I would NOT recommend this place to ANYONE.
I will post up pictures in the Photos & Videos section.
A Google User
A Google User
5 years ago-

This is by far, the worst motel we have every stayed in. Dirty, filthy, horrible. There was food on curtains & floors. This is the first room that I would not even take off my shoes to walk around - not even in socks.
Stay some where else!

Monday, November 24, 2014

MONDAY MOANIN
 
 

The Mayor & the Godfather of NMU Packer Weekend., 2000.



Friday, November 21, 2014

HAPPY  FRIDAY
 
SCIENCE!!

AND ONE FOR THE LADIES
Clay Matthews Pitch Perfect 2 trailer

 Clay & the Pack O-Line to appear in Pitch Perfect 2

Thursday, November 20, 2014


Why taking a dump in a Kohl’s
dressing room is never a good idea

 
 
Originally published at bigfunnyblog.com
 

I went to Kohl’s today to pick up a couple new pairs of pants and just happened to stumble bass akwards into the second funniest thing to ever happen to me in a public dressing room.
The funniest thing, by the way, involved me, a rogue zipper, and two well-placed and well-needed stitches. I’ll just leave it at that.
 
So I walk into the Kohl’s dressing room and start trying on my regularly-priced-$79.99-now-on-sale-for-$23.99 pants and hear that someone is entering the dressing room adjacent to mine. I think nothing of it and continue to try to squeeze my 38-inch waist into a pair of 36-inch Dockers.
 
But a mere few seconds later I can hear this individual — clearly a large man by the grunting and groaning — taking off his belt. The noise a belt makes is quite distinct and it sounded like this guy had a belt buckle the size of a trash can lid. It sounded like he was taking off a parachute with all the clasps, buckles, and snaps he was undoing.
 
I chuckle to myself and take a deep breath to buckle my own pants when I hear this guy — I’m going to start calling him Dirty Randy from now on — make a couple additional grunting noises.
 
I’m paying homage to Dirty Randy from “The League.” Great show.



 
It sounds like this guy — I think to myself — is trying to take a shit instead of trying to take a shirt.
This incredibly crazy idea is only made more plausible by the next thing that happens: Dirty Randy absolutely uncoils a five-star, MVP-caliber fart. It was one of those epic sonofabitches that gets a second wind halfway through and grows louder. It sounded like he was trying to start an old tractor.
 
At the time I had one leg into my own pants and the commotion in the next dressing room sent me tumbling against the wall laughing hysterically. Here I was busting a gut while this guy was busting ass.
 
“Son of a bitch,” Dirty Randy mumbles matter-of-factly. And I don’t know exactly what it was about the way he said it, but it sounded like he was saying “Son of a bitch” not as a result of what happened but as a precursor of what was yet to come.
 
To keep prices low, please don’t shit in the dressing room
 
And sure enough Dirty Randy lets loose a second fart, this one somehow even more repulsive than the first. The noise was a cross between an old creaky door opening and a Beluga whale. If you don’t know what that sounds like, check out this YouTube video.
 
Seriously, did this guy think he was walking into the men’s room instead of the dressing room? Is he squatting over a pile of discarded clothes that didn’t fit the last guy who was in there? The image playing out in my head was hysterical.
 
But the hysterics turned into hysteria when a visitor entered my dressing room. In the interest of full disclosure, I did lock the door before I went in there. But what came into that dressing room cannot be turned back by a $5 door bolt from Home Depot. It came in through, under, and over the door. It seeped through the cracks in the walls and tumbled down from the ceiling.
 
I’m here to tell you ladies and gentlemen, it was an actual mist. Like in that Stephen King movie. I half expected a monster to come out of it and eat me.
 
But that would have been the painless way out. Instead, what came out of that mist was a stench so horrific that eight hours later it’s still burned into my nostrils.
 
“My bad, buddy,” Dirty Randy says from the room next door, real casual-like as if he accidentally walked between me and a TV I was watching instead of purposely filling my dressing room full of Agent Orange. I gasped for air, trying to breathe through my mouth instead of my nose. But all that did was give me a big ole’ taste of whatever it was he ate that caused such a travesty in his lower intestine. It was as if he consumed a whole bucket of sea water and bad Thai food.
 
I texted my wife and told her I loved her. This is probably the end.
 
And then as I began to pass out I hear a voice from afar.
 
“How’s it going in there, Dirty Randy?” It’s his wife, she’s outside the dressing room now. And she didn’t really call him Dirty Randy but it sort of ruins the story if I tell you his real name.
 
“It’s too big.”
 
Too big, I think. Is he talking about whatever he’s trying on or whatever he’s trying to get out?
I laugh at the thought of my own joke. It’s starting to pull me from my own haze.
 
“Randy, pass it under the door and let me take a look at it.”
 
Now I’m actually laughing out loud. Is this really happening to me? The guy who writes funny blogs just has this fall into his lap.
 
Or, more appropriately, fall out of the lap of the guy next to me.
 
“Jesus, Randy, did you just shit yourself?”
 
Mrs. Dirty Randy echoes my thoughts exactly. Not only do I think he shit himself, but he shit herself and myself and every other self in the Kohl’s men’s section.
 
“No,” he replies timidly, “I think it was the guy in the room next to me.”
 
My mouth drops. But then I can taste a wicked combination of burnt lasagna, sulfur, and Skoal. For some reason, in this moment Dirty Randy and I connect. It’s as if I can tell this guy’s wife is going to spend the rest of the day busting his balls for busting his ass. In the spirit of true brotherhood, I decide to take one for the team.
 
“My bad,” I say.
 
“Gross,” Mrs. Dirty Randy says and then I hear her leave.

 What follows next could not have been predicted. Dirty Randy doesn’t thank me, he doesn’t say sorry, but instead he lets loose the third and final blow, a low rumbling noise that sounded like he sat on a fog horn.
 
“Thank God she left,” he says, “I was trying to choke that one off.”
 
Needless to say, I didn’t end up buying the pants.
 
If you enjoyed this piece, you can find others like it on my blog at bigfunnyblog.com. I’d appreciate if you stopped by some time.
 
You can also like my Facebook page at facebook.com/bigfunnyblog. I put lots of funny dump-related posts on there.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PALMS!!!


2014 NMU FOOTBALL RECAP

NMU hangs 66 on Fidlay to go 3-8.  
Previous two (2) years records were:  
 3-7 in 2013 and 4-7 in 2012.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Bills Players React to 1st Big Snowfall of the Season in Buffalo

Bills Players React to 1st Big Snowfall of the Season in Buffalo
via @_marquisegoodwin
Professional athletes are just like the rest of us; when there is inclement weather, they can be left speechless...and cold.
 
People in the Midwest and the Northeast have had to deal with the first big snowfall of the season over the past week, and just wait until you see what the people of Buffalo are currently living in.
"Snowpocalypse" has hit Buffalo hard, and the ridiculous amount of snow has had an impact on everyone who lives there. Even Bills players—whose previous game was in Miami—are being affected by the November snowfall.



TUESDAY LEFT-OVERS -- 

 
OFFICIAL INVOICE & 
MESSAGE FROM THE MAYOR 
 


NMU PACKER WEEKEND XXVI (-I)
 i.e. OUR 25TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION



 
Dear Subjects,

It is with great pleasure that I announce to you the details for NMU Packer Weekend XXVI(-1) i.e. our 25th Anniversary, weekend of December 27 & 28, 2014, in Titletown.

 
First, we are playing the not-so-lowly anymore Detroit Lions for what only seems like the 20th time in 25 years.   In fact,  Packer Weekend III took place the Lions won in Lambeau -- 1991!






We were there!  It was actually a good game.
 
 
Your weekend in Green Bay includes:

  • 1 ticket to the Packers v. Lions on Sunday Dec 28th …… 12 noon CST kick (If for NFC North Title….game will be flexed to 3:25pm).  We have 17 tickets (7, 4, 4 & 2).  We can get more if the demand is there.    Tentative Roster =
    1. Da Mayor
    2. Yours Truly
    3. Bubba
    4. Mojo 
    5. Waldo aka Mystic
    6. Dahlkamania aka Electric
    7. Stew aka The Freshman
    8. Brys aka Depeche Mode
    9. Strube aka America's Guest 
    10. Whelps 
    11. Donaldson 
    12. Mystery Guest
    13.  Prospects (Kreski, Stitch, Hank, Vopes, Fat Matt, Reuben Kinkaid, Strass, Spunker, Fatty G, Peppy, Wham, Brady D!)
 


 
  • 1 space in a luxurious room at the Road Star Inn, a 1/2 star motel. Saturday and Sunday night…..located almost inside of Lambeau Field   (We have 6 rooms)
 

 

  • 1 deluxe Limo tour of Green Bay and the local bar scene Saturday Evening…..starting at approximately 7pm until lights out  


Limos pictured here for promotional purposes only. Ours will be much worse.



We'll hit the usual haunts, and a few new ones who know how to spell their name properly!

Included in your tour will be all kinds of adult beverages while aboard the bus

 

  • 1 tailgate bash to be hosted by honorary cook and head bottle washer Wayne Steiglejackass



Bloodies….Brats…..Beer…..the 3 B’s   (yes….I know the 4th and you may see those from Stich Jones who has a wonderful set of tatas)


  •  1 reenactment of this immortal picture  
 
 
 
 
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
 
 
  • Christmas Cheer!
 
 
 
  • Classic Cars!
 
 
  • Dancing!
 
 
  • 24 Hour On-Call Medical Team to deal with alcohol poisoning and other emergencies!
 
 

  • Mystery Guest(s)?

 
  
  •  Laughs!
 
 

 
  • Late night snacks!
 
  • Unexplained injuries! 




  • Highjinks and Tomfoolery!



  • The MVD Award!



  • And most of all, fellowship! 



AL THIS CAN BE YOURS FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF
. . . . $350!!!

 

So let me get this straight……..

 

For $350…………….I get a game ticket, 2 nights on a floor with Krally in a hotel located inside of Lambeau Field, A ride in an old beat up bus with warm beer and Stieglejackass burning my brats….

 

WHERE THE HECK DO I SIGN UP!!!

 

Well Vanna…..tell them all about it

 

 

SEND YOUR RESERVATION TO


Merrill Lynch

c/o Charlie Nickel

480 Pilgrim Way   5th Floor

Green Bay , WI  54304

 
 
THE MAYOR

QUESTIONS?  CALL THE CUSTOMER SERVICE HOTLINE AT 517-303-6788

Friday, November 14, 2014

HAPPY FRIDAY &  HAPPY BIRTHDAY
PATRICK WARBURTON AKA DAVID PUDDY

 
 
 
 

Thursday, November 13, 2014


TBT
Joey Bagga Donuts, 2012