Friday, December 16, 2011


FOR MY GOOD FRIEND CHUCK WHELPLEY --

BEAR DOWN CHICAGO BEARS!!

Thursday, December 15, 2011



NEWS FLASH:  JESUS RETURNS TO ATTEND NMU PACKER WEEKEND XXIII (-I)

He was wondering if you guys could cover his nut for the weekend considering that he died for your sins and all.  While you're at it, he asked that you pay what you owe into the Chezury!

Monday, December 12, 2011


NMU PACKER WEEKEND XXIII (-I) IS IN THE BOOKS

What a compettive game that was. I assume total inebriation occurred sometime around the end of the first half. 

MAKE SURE TO E-MAIL ME PICTURES YOU AREN'T TOTALLY ASHAMED OF at dgregory@kelley-cawthorne.com.

See you next year.


HOPE YOU GUYS HAD A GOOD TIME . . . WHILE YOU WERE PARTYING YOU LET WAYNE STATE, REPEAT WAYNE STATE, GET TO THE D2 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!

Friday, December 9, 2011


NMU PACKER WEEKEND XXIII (-I):
OFFICIAL SCRIPT
It's time to put a hat on hat; toss, draw, sprint; and hit, shed, and pursue (the latter for all of you who were too athletic and quite frankly not smart enough to play offense, particularly the O-Line).
All times are CST (that's Central Standard Time for the defensive guys).

I put very little thought or creativity into the script this year since I won't be there.

IT IS MANDATORY TO

  • A) TAKE SOME PICTURES AND SEND THEM TO ME AT dgregory@kelley-cawthorne.com or text them to me at (517) 303-6788.   
  • B) TAKE A GROUP PICTURE OFF MILIATARY WITH THE STADIUM IN THE BACKGROUND.
  • C) WRITE DOWN THE BEST QUOTES & SEND THEM TO ME
  • D) NAME AN MVD OR WINNER OF THE KRALLY KUP; IT CAN'T BE BUBBA FOR THE RECORD. HE'S IN THE HALL OF FAME.
  • E) SEND GOOD VIBES TO STRUBE WHO WILL BE SAILING TO QUALIFY FOR THE OLYMPICS STARTING ON SUNDAY!
  • F) HAVE A GREAT TIME
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10, Polish (Your Nuts) Day
  • Warm-Up: Drive to Green Bay on your own
  • 1st Quarter: Rally at Midway Motor Lodge/Best Western at Lombardi & Holmgren (nice), 3pm
  • 2nd Quarter: Afternoon fellowship followed by Jingle Jangle, 3pm to 6pm, followed by an Agribusiness seminar by Chip
  • 3rd Quarter: Limo arrives 7pm, Korner Pub, Oval Office, Fuzzy's 63? Washington St, the Body Shop, oh the places you'll go
  • 4th Quarter: Sardine Can, a new tradition, 11pm. Seriously, when is the last time a new bar opened?
  • 5th Quarter: Anduzzi's, late night snack, 1 am to 4 am, Chip disappears


SUNDAY, DECEMBER 11, Game Day!!!
  • Pre-Game Meal: Bloody Marys & Crowne, 9am
  • Training Room: Take Bloody Mary to Hot Tub, 9:15 am
  • Warm-Up: Help Charlie set up tailgate on Military Road when you could be simply drinking in the motel parking lot like last year, 11 am.
  • 1st Quarter: Tailgate next to Krolls, why grill when you can just buy some delicious Krollburgers? 12noon
  • 2nd Quarter: Get your drink on!
  • 3rd Quarter: Gametime at 3:30pm
  • 4th Quarter: FOOOURRRRR!!!!! Cheer Packers to Victory while knocking the last man on the bench off his seat and singing along to Roll Out the Barrel. Zing, Boom, Tarrarel!!!
  • 5th Quarter: Tilted Kilt to watch Chip got shot down again by a cute waitress. Fun for the whole family!
  • Post-Game Party: Nap and crap at the Midway.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 12, The Day After
  • Depression sets in. Enjoy your ride home.

















FLASHBACK FRIDAY POP-QUIZ

When is was the last time Chris "Rochead" Allison made a (surprise) appearance at NMU Packer Weekend? 







BUBBA'S PICK UP LINE -- CIRCA 1990

One injured in Sands Township accident

SANDS TOWNSHIP, MI–One person has been injured in a single-vehicle accident in Sands Township.
The Marquette County Sheriff’s Department says the incident happened Wednesday around 2:20 p.m. on County Road 553 near Station Road.
Deputies say a station wagon driven by 77-year-old Carl Nystrom of Marquette was northbound when the vehicle in front of him braked sharply to avoid some dogs on the road. Nystrom swerved to avoid a crash and tried to turn down a dirt road, but his car slid, rolled down an embankment, and came to rest in a stand of trees.
Nystrom was taken to Marquette General Hospital for treatment of unknown injuries. The accident remains under investigation.
© Copyright 2011 WNMU



THIS YEAR'S HQ IS THE BEST WESTERN/MIDWAY MOTOR LODGE AT LOMBARDI & HOLMGREN WAY . . . THINK YOU CAN FIND IT???!!! 

BEST WESTERN Green Bay Inn
780 Armed Forces Drive, Green Bay, WI

(920) 499-3161 · bestwesterngreenbayinn.com




THE HAPPY FRIDAY PACKER BACKER OF THE WEEK . . . . . .

Centers are always good lookin!
THE KRALLY KUP & ROCK BOTTOM -- YOU'LL KNOW IT WHEN YOU GET THERE!!
Good luck all of you in the running for MVD. Krally is the official judge.



IN MEMORY:  
MY MAN AL DAVIS (1929-2011).

I grew up a Raaaidddushs fan and in no small part becuae of the mystique of Al Davis. Coach, GM, Rebel, Commissioner of the AFL, and 3-time Super Bowl Champion. Then, as pictured above, my man went bat shit crazy.
Oh well. He's a Hall-of-Famer in any league and, admit it, you would have loved to play for him.   

Raise your glass this weekend to  . . . . .. The Snake. The Holy Roller (San Diego fumble game). Cruisin with the Tooz.  The Ghost to the Post.  The Mad Stork.  Otis Sistrunk from the University of Mars. The Assassin. Old Man Willie. Lester Hayes covered in Stickum.

Pride & Poise. Committment to Excellence. Real Men Wear Black. 

Just Win Baby!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

BREAKING NEWS -- Jim "Sweet Head of" Devine added to Roster!
That makes 3 defensive players. This is an outrage!! In fact, I am boycotting NMU Packer Weekend XXIII (-I)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I STOPPED LIFTING WEIGHTS AFTER FOOTBALL . . .

Ex-Packers star Gillingham dies lifting weights

In this 1973 file photo Green Bay Packers football player Gale Gillingham is shown. (AP Photo/File)
(AP)
 
GREEN BAY, Wis. - Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame guard Gale Gillingham died at his home in Minnesota while lifting weights, his son said Friday. He was 67.
Wade Gillingham said the former Pro Bowler appeared to have had a heart attack Thursday at his home in Little Falls, but his family doesn't have confirmation on a cause of death.
Gillingham, inducted in the Packers Hall of Fame in 1982, was Green Bay's first-round draft choice and 13th overall in 1966 from the University of Minnesota. He played off the bench as a rookie and took veteran Fuzzy Thurston's spot during the 1967 season opposite All-Pro Jerry Kramer during the Vince Lombardi era.
 
He blocked for Bart Starr when the quarterback was leading the Packers to the first two Super Bowl victories in 1967 and 1968 and after leaving the team in 1974, returned to play for Starr when he was coach in 1976. Gillingham was a five-time Pro Bowler, six-time All Pro and played in 128 regular-season games for the Packers.
Wade Gillingham, 40, said his father retired last fall after operating Goedker Realty in Minnesota following his professional football career.
"He was a great Dad, a humble man and simple," his son said.
 
Gillingham, born in Madison, moved to Little Falls, Minn., with his family when he was in high school. He was divorced with three sons and a daughter and traveled the world watching two of his sons compete in strongman and power-lifting contests.
PS -  Gilly was a great Packer and will be missed.

CHARLIE'S TAILGATE REPORT
Charlie says that due to this year's later start, you will be tailgating.  Not right next to the Midway Motor Lodge in the Parking Lot near Stadium View, where we had a great time, saw tons of people, and had our own Bloody Mary Bar though the windows of our motel room -- of course not.  

He'll be hauling your ass all the way over to the other side of "the new stadium" by Krolls East.  Have fun with that!

Of course, if these lovely ladies were cooking rather than Charlie no one would care!


OFFICIAL NMU PACKER WEEKEND XXIII (-I) ROSTER ANNOUNCED

In what is truly a dog's breakfast of misfits, castoffs, aging veterans, retards, criminals, newcomers and  (gasp) two defensive players,  here are your NMU Packer Weekenders
  1.   Charlie "Mayor McAssheese" Nickel - he's the one who keeps us all together -- by annoying us!  Seriousy thanks for XXIII great years.
  2. Chip "Mystic" Wall -- bring the Santa hat and have fun disappearing into the night.
  3. Dennnis "Electric" Dahlke -- Dalkamania is - and always will be - running wild.
  4. Jim "Bubba" Kralovec -- not eligible for this year's Krally Kup. He gets to name the winner.
  5. Pat "Mojo" Modjeski -- keeper of the Crowne and the steadiest one in the bunch. Have a hammertini on me.
  6. Chris "King of Prussia" Goerlitz -- A Packer Weekend Virgin - be gentle.
  7. Gary "The Freshman" Stewart -- he just kind of invited himself a few years back and it stuck.
  8. Brett "Cherry" Donaldson -- he's from Neenah, get it? He's seems confused about some of intricate details of the weekend -- like most defensive players.
  9. Paul "Peppy LaJackass" LaFond -- still a jackass after all of these years, but at least he played offense!
  10. Wham, Brady D! -- game only. Always a good man to have around.  
Special Guests may include Our Man on the Inside, Bill Hawkwer, and Jeff Harry "Palms" at the tailgate.

In a roster move that can only be described as addition by subtraction, I won't be there for only the second time in XXIII years . . . but I am sure Charlie will send me a bill anway!  

Send some good vibes to America's Guest Mark Strube as his Olympic sailing trials start in Australia on Sunday.

Have fun guys!

Tune in tomnorrow for an official script!



ATTENTION CHEESHEADS:  GET A LIFE . . . . AND YOUR OWN TOURISM BRAND!!!! 

Okay Wisconsin, isn't it enought that you got to go the Rosebowl on a chintzy penalty, that your bars are open on Christmas Day, and that Madison is way cooler than Lansing as a state capitol!!  You have to try and steal Michigan's identity as the Mitten State, too! 

Just remember we won the last time we went to war with another state.  Well, technically we lost the Toledo War but Ohio got Toledo and we got the U.P. from what by all rights should have been Wisconsin -- so we won on that deal!  

Don't think we won't cross the Menominee River looking to take some more Wisconsin Territrory if you keep this shit up Badgers!!



Tuesday, December 6, 2011

ANNUAL MESSAGE FROM
COACH BUCK 
Seasons greetings from dah U.P. men! Don't know if you heard but I got in a wreck with the old brown pick-up this year on the road to Gwinn (wasn't that a Willie Nelson song?). Was on my way back from a blueberry picking showdown with Muff Sandona . . . which I won of course!! Anyway, the accdident broke my damn neck, but it didn't break my spirit.

What damn near broke my spirit was MSU's loss to Wisky in the Big Ten Title Game!? Between all the tit blocking and punter flopping I nearly lost my mind. Can't believe Sparty hasn't been the to Rose Bowl since 1987 . . . . the season after I left. No coincidence men, just an observation.

Men, I'm still recuperating so I'm taking a break from delivering the script or the roster this year but I will give a cliche-ridden pre-game pep talk.

Get a pulse in your calf and a pucker in your ass. Pound Green Pound! Smoke Green Smoke! Give me a chance Coach! Coach Me Coach! Confront and Demand. Stay on Load Path. Toss 38 Saginaw for Pete! Put a hat on a hat and pound the bricks.  To Hell with Spain and Remember the Maine! Tippecanoe and Tyler Too!!  But I, much like the beloved - and fictional - Professor Bing, digress.


Remember the NMU Packer Weekend is a part of your fibers and characteristics. It's  part of our common Northeast Wiswconsin/U.P heritage.  . . . . except for the guys from Lower
Michigan, Illinois and Milwaukeee but never mind that now.

What would still unite you if not your desire to still make fun of me??!! Nothing!!! 
So men, get off that goddman non-aggression pact and . . . . . . BLOCK!!!! 

P.S.  In all seriousness, we all wish you the very best and hope you've fully recovered Coach Buck. Looking forward to next year's message.

Monday, December 5, 2011

ON WISCONSIN . . . . AND ON TO OTHER TOPICS.

IT'S GAME WEEK!!

Friday, December 2, 2011


A SPECIAL BIG TEN CHAMPTIONSHIP GAME MESSAGE FROM DAVID WOODERSON

"Suck it Bucky! It's a Sparty at the Moontower."
Alright, alright, alright people . . . There's a fiesta in the making as we speak.  It's a Sparty at the Moontower, by that I mean it's the first ever Big Ten Championship game in Indy  -- Sparty versus Bucky.

It's gonna be the best show since Aerosmith in Houston back in 76.  I hear Sparty's gotta fine crop of freshman girls this year so I gotta go with the Spartan honeys over Bucky's Plumpers.  That's what I love about these college girls man, I keep getting older and they stay the same age.

Just remember, you gotta keep on livin man, L-I-V-I-N.  You gotta  . . . .  .


Hey man, you gotta joint?  It'd be a lot cooler if you did, right Chip?  Peace.
IT'S A HAPPY FRIDAY DAILY DOUBLE -- PACKER BACKERS OF THE WEEK
I'll take Green Bay's locker room over Penn State's anytime.  




Thursday, December 1, 2011

Q AND A: BRET BIELEMA

We sat down with Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema (a former D-Lineman which explains a lot) in advance of Saturday's Big Ten Championship Game. We didn't just talk football, though!Tiny

Q: Coach Bielema, how do you rebound from your prior loss to Michigan State heading into the rematch in the Big Ten Championship Game? 
A: [LOUD FARTING NOISE INTO PHONE] 

bretbong
Q: Coach Bielema?
A: I dunno. You tell me if you're so smart. I didn't major in being a p*ssy, I majored in p*ssy. 


Q: Well, that's why I'm asking you. You're the coach. Wait, did you just-- 
A: Fuckin' right I am. I'm the coach. I piss where I say I'm gonna piss. 


Q: Wait, did you just--
A: [sings in high voice quietly] craaaaaawling iiiin my skiiin...I fuckin' love Linkin Park. You like 'em, or you too cool to rock? 


Q: I'm really trying to go back to that prior statement, you said you piss where you want to piss? What--
A: I extrapotated no such thing from my instatements. You're the one inseminating, not me. 


Q: Wait, I wanna go back and revisit that prior statement. You said, "I majored in p*ssy?"
A: I didn't say that. 


Q: No, wait, it sounded a lot like--
bretwithgun
A: WAX MY TRUCK, BITCH! [/giggles, sips something] 


Q: I'm sorry, Coach. Are you--
A: I'm just kidding with you, man. Go ahead and ask your question. 


Q: So I was going to--
A: I can't help what you hear. All I know is that we're gonna kick ass on Saturday. That's what TwoBeez is about. 


Q: Does that reference your name? I'm confused--
A: No, it references my balls, dipnuts. 


Q: I'm sorry?
A: We have a lot of work to do prior to Saturday and I'm looking forward to it. 


Q: Thanks for joining us, Coach Bielema.
A: WAX MY TRUCK, BITCH! 


Q: Excuse me, but--
A: [LOUD FARTING NOISE] [click!] [/dialtone]

Q.  Good luck on Saturday coach . . . . you're gonna need it against Sparty! 

EDITOR'S NOTE -  I ripped most of this off from a post on everydayshouldbesaturday.com.

MEET THE NEW BOSS . . . . .

NMU names Ostrowsky [not Tommy O] as new football coach.

[He's the 5th coach in 20 years and the 6th coach since NMU last reached the play-offs for those of you keeping score at home.]




(From Upper Michigan News Source) -
Coach Ostrowsky served as offensive coordinator the last two years at Northern
Read more: Chris Ostrowsky, Northern Michgian Football, Bernie Anderson
  
MARQUETTE -- Chris Ostrowsky [pronounced O-STRAW-ski] has been promoted to head coach of the Northern Michigan University football team following Tuesday’s (Nov. 29) announcement that the contract of six-year head coach Bernie Anderson would not be renewed. Ostrowsky has been the Wildcats’ offensive coordinator for the past two seasons.

“I want to thank Bernie for bringing me to Northern Michigan University and to the university and athletic department administrations for giving me this opportunity,” said Ostrowsky. “We want to create a nationally recognized, prestigious brand that will be Northern Michigan University football. Winning championships and graduating scholars will be our everyday goal. Wildcat football will again become a premier program.”

This past year, the Wildcats went 4-7 overall and 3-7 in the Great Lakes Intercollegiate Athletic Conference for sixth place in the North Division.

“Chris has coaching experience at Division I, II, and III levels,” said Steve Reed, interim athletic director. “He is passionate about NMU, and he believes relationship building is the key to success. He has gained the full respect of our football student-athletes with an offensive system based on trust and accountability. I know he and his staff will work extremely hard to engage the campus, alumni and the local community in Wildcat football.”

Ostrowsky came to NMU with 15 years of coaching experience, which included three seasons (2007-10) as an assistant at NCAA Division I Northeastern University in Boston. While there, he was the quarterbacks coach, recruiting coordinator and passing game coordinator.


From 2005-07, Ostrowsky was the assistant head football coach at NCAA Division III Widener University in Chester, PA. He was the offensive coordinator in 2005 when his unit established 27 new school records. The 2005 and 2006 Widener squads won back-to-back South Atlantic ECAC Bowl titles. Ostrowsky also was the offensive coordinator at Washington and Lee University in Lexington, VA from 2002-04.


From 1997-01, Ostrowsky coached at East Side High School in Newark, NJ, where he earned the Newark Star Ledger High School Coach of the Year honor in 1998 after turning around a program that had lost 18 consecutive games.


Ostrowsky was quarterback at Roselle Park High School, a position he also played at Jersey City State College, where he received a bachelor’s degree in history in 1993. He has run the Chris Ostrowsky Quarterback/Receiver Camp each summer since 2006. He was invited to be a keynote speaker at the both the 2005 and 2011 Nike Coaches Clinic in Atlantic City, NJ, where he discussed the spread offense and red zone offense.


Ostrowsky and his wife, Jennifer, have three children: Jackson, 11, Joseph, 9 and Hope, 2.

Former Saginaw Valley State football coach Randy Awrey resigns as Northern Michigan defensive coordinator

Published: Wednesday, November 30, 2011, 12:20 PM Updated: Wednesday, November 30, 2011, 1:40 PM
Awrey.jpg
Randy Awrey

Former Saginaw Valley State football coach Randy Awrey has resigned from his position as Northern Michigan defensive coordinator, according to The Mining Journal.
Awrey's resignation comes less than a day after NMU opted not to renew the contract of head coach Bernie Anderson.
"I have decided that now is the correct time for me to pursue other interests," Awrey said in a statement, according to the newspaper. "I truly enjoyed working with all of the NMU student-athletes and hope I have affected their lives in a positive manner. I wish Northern Michigan University and its football program every success."
Following Anderson's departure, there was speculation that Awrey could become NMU's head coach. Instead, Awrey will depart from his alma mater, and the Wildcats announced that offensive coordinator Chris Ostrowsky is the team's new head coach.
Awrey spent four seasons as NMU's defensive coordinator, immediately following his 2007 dismissal from SVSU for NCAA violations.
In March, a jury found that Awrey did not knowingly commit NCAA violations, after the coach filed a lawsuit against his former employer.
Awrey spent nine seasons as SVSU's head coach, compiling a 76-27 record, with five playoff appearances and two GLIAC titles.

Related topics: Randy Awrey